When world events trigger us, does social media help?

When world events trigger us, what helps?

An old Chinese expression states, “Better to be a dog in times of tranquility than a human in times of chaos.” In turn, someone coined the more well-known “curse”, “May you always live in interesting times.”

We are definitely living in interesting times. It is likely that humanity always has done so in some part of the world or another. But now, we can see these “interesting times” being filmed, the images downloaded, shared online, and broken up into smaller bytes for the benefit of one or another audience of newsfeeds, or social media.

The result is that we see something that triggers us. Being “triggered” jump-starts our nervous system. We are more likely to read an article or scan an Instagram Post that activates our emotions. If it pushes our buttons, we will look at it for longer, be it galvanizing or enraging. And once we do that, AI algorithms target us to give us more and more of the same. A dopamine hit to the brain.

When triggered, we want to react. In prehistoric times, we would have thrown spears or rocks. At a rally, we yell. Online, we post comments. It’s a dopamine rush all around. In an instant, it feels way better to do this, to do “something”, than what we see as “nothing”.

We also feel temporarily connected - to a cause, to a group of people, to suffering, to triumph. Who doesn’t want to feel galvanized? We feel clarity, purpose. We feel right. All are very human wants and needs.. They pull us away from feeling attacked, powerless. And oh, how addictive they are.

It is true, that collective outrage can spur action. The question is, will it be meaningful? Helpful? Positive? So if we look at the long game, organizing our news, our process, around social media posting and commenting, won’t help process the ptsd of what we are seeing and experiencing. Especially if we are feeding our anger. The goal of algorithms is to get us to read more, react more, post more. Outrage is big business.

And over time, does the post/comment cycle help us process what is happening? Or do we just get more entrenched, angry, and unable to move through the world mindfully? My own experience is the latter. It’s like a sugar high and subsequent crash. I know this, because, I’ve done it. Even though I am a therapist, I am human and sometimes let frustration in not-the-healthiest way. So if we look at the long game, organizing our news, our process, around social media posting and commenting, won’t help process the ptsd of what we are seeing and experiencing. Especially if we are feeding our anger. The goal of algorithms is to get us to read more, react more, post more. Outrage is big business.

As Esther Perel recently said, “We are not meant to process trauma in short bursts, in echo chambers, in black holes of collapsed nuance”. As a human being and trauma therapist, I agree wholeheartedly.

What helps, instead? Processing your trauma with someone who can respect and hold your narrative is vital. In other words, they can start where you are. This is very unlikely if you go on an Instagram or Facebook page with someone who takes a position that is at odds with yours. A therapist who is culturally sensitive or can hold your process is a good place to start. Or, a caring member of your own community.

Avoid sites and people that promote hate and negativity. I’m not saying avoid hearing bad news; I’m saying, it is unlikely to help you if you visit sites that dehumanize you or another party. It feels great in the moment that you are oh-so-pissed, I know, to “stick it” to the other side with your own. But it’s unlikely to move you forward in any direction that is good in the long run. Do visit sites that give voice to your platform, or encourage you to challenge assumptions you or others have made. In my experience, you can process more by listening to podcasts, or YouTube interviews by trusted and varied news sources. If I see an article that assigns negative monikers, it’s usually a red-flag of massive bias, or at least, unawareness of one’s own bias. Regarding the Israeli-Hamas conflict, Esther Perel put together an excellent list of resources for learning about and processing the conflict.

I also want to add, recognize that some platforms, even objectively excellent ones, may not be able to hold you in their spaces. This happened to me recently. I found the viewpoint taken very understandable, but too one-sided for my taste. And it was a painful thing to experience, because I have in other times found this platform to be excellent in many ways. I concluded that this space not hold my own frustrations or concerns in a validating way. I decided that for now, it was not the space for me, and so I unfollowed it. This was a painful loss, but had I stayed, I would not have been able to have been fully authentic and I fear I would have been the target of misplaced hate, and then reacted in a way that would not move anyone forward. I don’t want that dynamic, so I let go. Maybe this will change at some point, but I had to radically accept things as they are right now.

Related to that - pay attention to how you are feeling. Are you getting more angry, spaced-out, scattered after you go on social media? If so, use strategies to limit your social media consumption to a “healthy diet”. Yes, we all binge occasionally. But if you find that you function better in your day with a maximum of, say, 30 minutes to 1 hour, decide to do that. If you find yourself engaging in an argument with a random person on a platform, it is unlikely that either of you will change your mind. And if you start flinging insults, that accomplishes squat. If you must comment, try to disengage after one or two rounds. For all you know, you are arguing with a bot.

Limit your social media consumption. I try not to read or take in heavy stuff at least 30 minutes before bed or before an important task, as it will likely distract you.

“Hop on” to a different kind of site. So go onto a site with lighter content, like pets or makeup or sports or some other positive interest of yours as a “stepping stone” to then get off the internet.

And when you are off - try music instead of news, go for a walk, or focus on something small and in the moment, even if it is the ground in front of you on a walk. This helps with your being able to stay present, in the moment - things that are difficult when we feel activated or traumatized.

All of this helps you use social media mindfully. It’s a great place to stay connected in some ways, but there are other resources for coping and processing your reactions. It’s your life - spend the time in ways that you find most nourishing.