If therapy could…
-help you feel less anxious, more calm
-add a supportive, non-judgmental person to your life
-help you get help with a trying life situation
-and, most importantly, give you tools for you to make some positive changes in your life
Instead of walking around feeling overwhelmed, alone, rudderless, you can feel calmer, supported, and focused on the here and now…
Wouldn’t it be worth it?
I’ve never heard anyone say they regretted doing therapy.
So you’ve been thinking about a particular issue, person, or big life change that may be on the horizon. It’s weighing on you, occupying your mind, making you question yourself and your decisions. You are thinking, you could use some help, maybe in the way of therapy, but you’re not sure therapy is the way to go. Here are some reasons people say they are reluctant:
“I can’t afford therapy.”
Is that what you are thinking? Most of us have spent money, time, and energy this Holiday season, or at many points throughout the year. Understandably, you are trying to be watchful of your budget.
If the Holidays were fun and meaningful for you, I’m truly glad. Even if they were, maybe old issues, difficult relationships, or memories resurfaced with one or more people. Maybe you used tips from my November blog post to get through the holidays, or other techniques to help you get through the tense times.
Maybe a big transition just happened or is on the horizon. Job change, concerns about a friend, partner or relative? You are worried about it, and it would really help to talk about it, but you aren’t sure these are concerns you want to lay out with someone in your personal life.
Maybe you did talk to friends, and it helped to get their support. That’s something! But you may still be confused and this issue is hanging over you. You really don’t have huge amounts of time or energy. So for now, you are just hanging on, going with the flow and seeing what happens. That can work — for a while.
But sometimes it is MORE costly to put therapy on the back burner. Namely, in quality of life and in the frustrating things that never seem to change, so that you lose sleep, or feel irritable, less energetic to deal with what needs dealing with. This is especially true of trauma and severe stress. We actually spend more energy trying to “push down” our strong feelings. Or, they come out in a way that is not helpful, like temper outbursts, body/headaches, chronic distraction.
If therapy could help you feel less anxious, add a supportive, non-judgmental person to your life, get some ideas for help, and, most importantly, give you tools for you to make some positive changes in your life, so that instead of walking around feeling overwhelmed, alone, having no idea how to proceed, you can feel more calm, mindful, supported, and focused on what you need these days…Wouldn’t it be worth it?
“I’m super busy. Who has time?”
It’s true. You, like so many people, have work, parents, kids, school, and any number of responsibilities.
You may want to try a person close to your home or work (or other place that you frequent often). I typically see clients once weekly, but may see someone more frequently than that for trauma sessions. It’s best to find someone close to your comings and goings. I’m in the City of Fairfax, Virginia, not far from George Mason University.
Pick a date and time with your therapist and make it part of a weekly routine. This will actually make it easier to stick with it. Look at this as part of your “healthcare” routine and as something necessary you are doing for yourself. And by the way, you send a very good strong message to your loved ones when they see that you are making this time for something important to you and that you stay with it.
For those of you who travel a lot or have health issues that make traveling difficult, teletherapy might be the way to go. I don’t offer that at this time, but it is out there. I’d rather you get the help you need and be honest with you about where to get it.
If your schedule needs to change, by the way, discuss this with your therapist. Most of us know that can happen. We try to work with you on this.
“I’ve done therapy. I already know what my problems are. There are some things I just can’t change, and they are in the past, so I really don’t want to talk about them.”
I am not offering a “magic wand” that will make all your problems go away. (And if anyone is doing that, they are not being straightforward with you, especially if there is a complex or ongoing life situation like a chronic illness in a loved one, chronic workplace upheaval, and such. These things happen and I get that they don’t magically disappear.) But I DO offer methods that will help you deal with these problems in a way that is calm and proactive, instead of dealing with them being terrified and reactive. And those things that happened and are in the past? The trauma therapy I do works on changing the memory, so that it does not affect you the same way. It works.
Imagine having a game plan or a shift in your attitude in dealing with a person in your life who has often caused you stress or worry. Imagine how that would change things. Instead of feeling like a powerless, out-of-control person, you will begin to feel more centered, deserving of good treatment and respect. (Respect is not fear, by the way. Many people are in therapy because important people in their lives have confused these concepts.) And when we believe we are worthy, things often begin to change.
So as you start out into the New Year, bearing the colder temperatures and looking ahead, think about the issues you would like help with. If you read through this article all the way to this point, odds are, you are seriously considering therapy. You know what it’s like not to do it. Maybe it’s time to try something different.
When you feel ready, call.